Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Still around!

Having a little bit of a stressfull week last week and didn't feel like writing. All is fine though and now we are all a little flu-y and tired and drained!
Tried out an afterschool program last week for my oldest so that he can be out in the community and meet some kiddos... try a drama program. It was a disaster! A one hour program ending with me being called into the directors office after. I was told that there was just no way... he cowered with his ears covered the whole time. I don't tell many people about the sensory stuff or autism spectrum stuff very often. If you see him he is outgoing, bright and completely functional the majority of the time. I felt like a complete tool for so many reasons. I should have mentioned it... maybe should have stayed for the first class( he is eight though and has taken a class before. I didn't want him to be the only eight year old whos mama stayed). I got a comment from another parent with a spectrum kid that was in the same class about school being the right place for kids like ours... it teaches them to just get used to it( with the whole loaded implication that we really shouldn't be homeschooling). Just all of the doubts that go along with it all... and I guess my denial at times where we go through periods where things are so much closer to what it is for regular families. The director suggested that he take a program with older kids and said that they would call me right away about that. They didn't call. We go this week to try an environmental club that is outside( quieter) and may be a good match. I don't feel like people understand... the disability seems invisable to them. I can see the eye roll or the glint in the eye when I do share things... like " yeah right... your kids are perfectly fine." sometimes they even say it out loud. Then something happens where it is obvious and then it feels like I am doing the wrong thing then as well. I think that there is something different that families with highly functioning spectrum kids deal with. Nobody can really see how far we have come or what we have had to go through to get to where we are now. Not a pity party or anything. Sometimes I just feel really lonely.
I watched an amazing movie last night called The horse boy. Here is the trailer.
I found a place online where I could watch it streaming. What a beautiful movie. It symbolicly captured so much for me. Really really wonderful.


MamaLou said...

It makes me so mad when I read/hear stories such as this.....and it doesn't matter what kid of kids, people are just jerks....my friend just had the school tell her to medicate her daughter so she'd stay in grade 1 or to just leave her crying it only takes 45 minutes....right to the problems you're having. That glass houses thing right? You are their protector, mama bear, and a good one.
dealing with flu here too, need some sleep.

My 3 call me Mama said...


Wanted you and yours to know you are held in the light.
We've only met a few times yet I think of you often.
We walk the right, but hard, path. We may be alone on our own section but we walk it together. Keep your faith and strength in that.

Warmly, Janet
(from the gym last year)